Asking a witch to read a grimoire to a bunch of kids? Splendid idea !
Patchouli : "To summon a demon, kill your best friend, grind his bones into dust, use the dust to draw a pentacle on a wooden floor, pile all the meat and organs at the center of said pentacle, then say the following 'HE YASS OLE GETYAR ASSHIRE', but don't look at it while it's summoned or you'll turn crazy."
I mean, what could possibly go wrong? It's not like Patchouli has the Necronomicon somewhere in her library, right?

Al Azif confirmed for Touhou 14.

What kind of grimoire is The Very Hungry Caterpillar supposed to be?

FRien said:
Asking a witch to read a grimoire to a bunch of kids? Splendid idea !
Patchouli : "To summon a demon, kill your best friend, grind his bones into dust, use the dust to draw a pentacle on a wooden floor, pile all the meat and organs at the center of said pentacle, then say the following 'HE YASS OLE GETYAR ASSHIRE', but don't look at it while it's summoned or you'll turn crazy."
I mean, what could possibly go wrong? It's not like Patchouli has the Necronomicon somewhere in her library, right?

Kosuzu is in possession of the Necronomicon, at least the kanji version.

Rheeve said:
Kosuzu is in possession of the Necronomicon, at least the kanji version.

Oh boy, I can't imagine how it went : " ̡͞T̷̨̛̛͏h̡̧̨̀͞i͢͜͠s̡̛ ̡͝҉̛w̴̡͢͞a̧̨ś͘҉ ̴͏͟͏t́͝͡h̢̛͞҉a҉̴͏̷̛t̢͘̕̕ ̨͘c̸̢u̴̧͡l̢̡̀͢ţ͏͏,̴͢ ̵̡̛͝a̷̧͟͝n̨͡͡d̵̛̀҉ ̡͢t͞͡h̶̡́͞ę͢ ͜͏̴́p̸̀́͘͠ŕ̸͘͝͝i͘͜ş̷̡̢̀o̴̵͘͡ń̸͟͡e̸̡̛͟͡r͏̨̕͏s҉̢͜ ͏̵͞͏ś̛̛͞͞a̴̧i̧̢̕͝͝d̸̨ ͏̨̢į̴̛͘t̸̡̛͠ ̴̷̷h̵͢͢a͝͝d̵́ ͞a̡͢͟͠͝l̷̀̕͝w̷̵͟a̛͠͠҉͜y̨s̶̵̨͟͠ ͡͠ȩ͘͟͜͞x҉҉̢̡i̛҉s͞͏̷͟ţ̶è̴̷̢ḑ̸͜͝ ̸̡́͠҉á̛n̵͢͟͡͝d̴͘҉̡͝ ́͟ą̶͘͢͝l̶̛͢͜w̴̨̕͝͞á̛̕͟y͟ş̷͜͠͡ ̸̨̀̕͟w͜͝͝o҉̢͝u̶̢͡l̵̴̷̛ḑ̸̛͢͝ ̷́͢͡è͟͞͝x̴̀̀ì̢͘͡s̵͏҉̕t̷͞͝,̢́ ͟h͟͏i̸̛̛͠d̡̛͠͞d͜͝͠͝e̴̵̸҉̡n̴̶͝ ̨҉͏ì̡̕͡n̛ ̶̡̨͘͟d҉̷͘í̡̕s̡̕t̨̡́a̡͢͏̴̨n͘͜͜͢t̨͝ ̷̕̕̕͏w̡͞à̕͠͠͞ś͜҉͘͏t̛͞e̶̢̕͢͡s̶̀͢ ̸͜͠͝a̶̢͢͟͞n̶҉̸̧͝d̷͝҉́ ̶̶̢̕d̴͞ą̵̶r̷̶̴͢k̨ ͘͏́͘͢p̧͡͡l̴͜͡a̕͏͘͢c̸͘͠e҉ś̵̶̴́ ͢͞a̷l̷̕l͢͜͟͜͏ ͏̷ò̵v̢̢̕͠ȩ̵̸̛͝ŗ̶̀͜͟ ̸̨̀͞t̴҉͢҉͜h̵̶̨̨̀è̶ ̷̵̢̡̀w̶̧͢o͢͜r̸̀҉̵ĺ̨̧͘d̵͜͜҉ ̵̢͠u̢̨͜͝n̵t̛́̕i̢̧͞͡l̢ ̵͜t̷̸̡́h̷́͡e̴ ͠͏͝ţ͝҉͟͝ì̴̀͢m̨̧͠e͏̸̶̀ ͏̵̢͏w͘͟͏h̴̡̢́è̷̛̕͏n̶͘͏ ҉͘t̵̡h҉͝͞e͡͞҉̵̡ ̧̀͘g̵̕r̶̡̡͟͠e̛͜͢a̡̨҉̨t̷͜ ̶̡͠͞p̷r͝i̴̵̵̕e͏̢͡s̵͢͠͡͠t̢̢͠͏ ̶̶̨͡C͡҉͞t̷̡̛̀h͝͡͏͏͠u̕͘l̶̡h̷u͡͝,̸͏̵̀́ ̴̧͡͡f͏̵̡ŕ̴͏҉ớ̶͢m̵̨ ̨͢h̸̀͘͢͢i̶͝͏̶s̷ ̧́͞d́͘͝á̵̛ŗ͜k̢͢ ̸͜҉h̡̀͝o͘͡u̕͏s̴̨̛͞é͏̨̢ ̢i͏̡͢n̕͏ ͏̶̛́t͢͠͝h̵̀͠é̴͘͜ ̧̀͢͟͝m̸̀̕į̷̷̢́g̷̀͢ḩ̡̀̕ţy̷̧̡͢ ͏͟c̴̷̛̀͢i̛t̵͟҉͡ỳ̡̨͘͞ ̀͠҉͏o̷̧̢f̕͜͟͝ ͝R҉̸'̵̴̴̛̛l̶̡̕͢y̢͢e͡͠͏̷̧h̷͠͡ ̷͞u̴̶ņ̨͡d̶̵͡e̴̛͢͠͞r̸̸͝ ̴͘t͟͡͡h̨͜͜͞e̶̷̕͜ ̨̛͞w̧͜͜͡͏ą͏̀͟͢t̶́͢͞è̷̡͡r҉͞s̵̛͝҉,̸͘ ̷͞ş̨́͞͏h̸̡̀͠o̢̕͟͜u͜͏l̡͏d̵̨̕͘͢ ̷̨̨r̷͝i҉̶͢s̶̢̧̛͠ę́͘͡ ̴̴̷͠ą͢͠ǹ̶͜͝d͠͏ ͘b̷̷̡́͟ŗ͝į̸̷̷̸n҉̵̢́̕g̸̵̢̛͟ ҉̴͞t̴͢͟͢h̸̸ȩ̸̵͡͠ ͜͢e̶̵̴͞a̸̧ŕ̶t͏̧h̵̢͢͏ ̧́͠͏a͏͘̕͟ǵ̷̸̕͠a̵͢͠i̶͏̧̀ń̶͟͠ ̸̵̢́͠b͏͟e͏̢͝͝n̷͏̷̢e̷͞à̵̛t̶̶͞h͡͏ ́͝h̷̢͠i̸̛͏s̶̛ ̧̨͜͢s҉̴̴̨͜ẃ̷͠͝a̸̵̢̛͏ý̴̕͞.̷̶̢͟ ̸́͟͡, and on this picture, you can see a picture of the Old One, and... why are you all drooling? Is my lecture that boring?"

FRien said:
Oh boy, I can't imagine how it went : " ̡͞T̷̨̛̛͏h̡̧̨̀͞i͢͜͠s̡̛ ̡͝҉̛w̴̡͢͞a̧̨ś͘҉ ̴͏͟͏t́͝͡h̢̛͞҉a҉̴͏̷̛t̢͘̕̕ ̨͘c̸̢u̴̧͡l̢̡̀͢ţ͏͏,̴͢ ̵̡̛͝a̷̧͟͝n̨͡͡d̵̛̀҉ ̡͢t͞͡h̶̡́͞ę͢ ͜͏̴́p̸̀́͘͠ŕ̸͘͝͝i͘͜ş̷̡̢̀o̴̵͘͡ń̸͟͡e̸̡̛͟͡r͏̨̕͏s҉̢͜ ͏̵͞͏ś̛̛͞͞a̴̧i̧̢̕͝͝d̸̨ ͏̨̢į̴̛͘t̸̡̛͠ ̴̷̷h̵͢͢a͝͝d̵́ ͞a̡͢͟͠͝l̷̀̕͝w̷̵͟a̛͠͠҉͜y̨s̶̵̨͟͠ ͡͠ȩ͘͟͜͞x҉҉̢̡i̛҉s͞͏̷͟ţ̶è̴̷̢ḑ̸͜͝ ̸̡́͠҉á̛n̵͢͟͡͝d̴͘҉̡͝ ́͟ą̶͘͢͝l̶̛͢͜w̴̨̕͝͞á̛̕͟y͟ş̷͜͠͡ ̸̨̀̕͟w͜͝͝o҉̢͝u̶̢͡l̵̴̷̛ḑ̸̛͢͝ ̷́͢͡è͟͞͝x̴̀̀ì̢͘͡s̵͏҉̕t̷͞͝,̢́ ͟h͟͏i̸̛̛͠d̡̛͠͞d͜͝͠͝e̴̵̸҉̡n̴̶͝ ̨҉͏ì̡̕͡n̛ ̶̡̨͘͟d҉̷͘í̡̕s̡̕t̨̡́a̡͢͏̴̨n͘͜͜͢t̨͝ ̷̕̕̕͏w̡͞à̕͠͠͞ś͜҉͘͏t̛͞e̶̢̕͢͡s̶̀͢ ̸͜͠͝a̶̢͢͟͞n̶҉̸̧͝d̷͝҉́ ̶̶̢̕d̴͞ą̵̶r̷̶̴͢k̨ ͘͏́͘͢p̧͡͡l̴͜͡a̕͏͘͢c̸͘͠e҉ś̵̶̴́ ͢͞a̷l̷̕l͢͜͟͜͏ ͏̷ò̵v̢̢̕͠ȩ̵̸̛͝ŗ̶̀͜͟ ̸̨̀͞t̴҉͢҉͜h̵̶̨̨̀è̶ ̷̵̢̡̀w̶̧͢o͢͜r̸̀҉̵ĺ̨̧͘d̵͜͜҉ ̵̢͠u̢̨͜͝n̵t̛́̕i̢̧͞͡l̢ ̵͜t̷̸̡́h̷́͡e̴ ͠͏͝ţ͝҉͟͝ì̴̀͢m̨̧͠e͏̸̶̀ ͏̵̢͏w͘͟͏h̴̡̢́è̷̛̕͏n̶͘͏ ҉͘t̵̡h҉͝͞e͡͞҉̵̡ ̧̀͘g̵̕r̶̡̡͟͠e̛͜͢a̡̨҉̨t̷͜ ̶̡͠͞p̷r͝i̴̵̵̕e͏̢͡s̵͢͠͡͠t̢̢͠͏ ̶̶̨͡C͡҉͞t̷̡̛̀h͝͡͏͏͠u̕͘l̶̡h̷u͡͝,̸͏̵̀́ ̴̧͡͡f͏̵̡ŕ̴͏҉ớ̶͢m̵̨ ̨͢h̸̀͘͢͢i̶͝͏̶s̷ ̧́͞d́͘͝á̵̛ŗ͜k̢͢ ̸͜҉h̡̀͝o͘͡u̕͏s̴̨̛͞é͏̨̢ ̢i͏̡͢n̕͏ ͏̶̛́t͢͠͝h̵̀͠é̴͘͜ ̧̀͢͟͝m̸̀̕į̷̷̢́g̷̀͢ḩ̡̀̕ţy̷̧̡͢ ͏͟c̴̷̛̀͢i̛t̵͟҉͡ỳ̡̨͘͞ ̀͠҉͏o̷̧̢f̕͜͟͝ ͝R҉̸'̵̴̴̛̛l̶̡̕͢y̢͢e͡͠͏̷̧h̷͠͡ ̷͞u̴̶ņ̨͡d̶̵͡e̴̛͢͠͞r̸̸͝ ̴͘t͟͡͡h̨͜͜͞e̶̷̕͜ ̨̛͞w̧͜͜͡͏ą͏̀͟͢t̶́͢͞è̷̡͡r҉͞s̵̛͝҉,̸͘ ̷͞ş̨́͞͏h̸̡̀͠o̢̕͟͜u͜͏l̡͏d̵̨̕͘͢ ̷̨̨r̷͝i҉̶͢s̶̢̧̛͠ę́͘͡ ̴̴̷͠ą͢͠ǹ̶͜͝d͠͏ ͘b̷̷̡́͟ŗ͝į̸̷̷̸n҉̵̢́̕g̸̵̢̛͟ ҉̴͞t̴͢͟͢h̸̸ȩ̸̵͡͠ ͜͢e̶̵̴͞a̸̧ŕ̶t͏̧h̵̢͢͏ ̧́͠͏a͏͘̕͟ǵ̷̸̕͠a̵͢͠i̶͏̧̀ń̶͟͠ ̸̵̢́͠b͏͟e͏̢͝͝n̷͏̷̢e̷͞à̵̛t̶̶͞h͡͏ ́͝h̷̢͠i̸̛͏s̶̛ ̧̨͜͢s҉̴̴̨͜ẃ̷͠͝a̸̵̢̛͏ý̴̕͞.̷̶̢͟ ̸́͟͡, and on this picture, you can see a picture of the Old One, and... why are you all drooling? Is my lecture that boring?"

Oh wow, how did you do that? That's cool!

We can create a pool for "Good grimoires for good children"

Nakano-kun said:
Oh wow, how did you do that? That's cool!

I signed a contract with the Great Old One.

I think Karaage's Remilia might be the best Remilia.

236C said:
I think Karaage's Remilia might be the best Remilia.

Right? Just look at that face, like a cat with the cream.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar...has a tag?

FRien said:

HE YASS OLE GETYAR ASSHIRE

I see what you did there.

RNGCombo said:

What kind of grimoire is The Very Hungry Caterpillar supposed to be?

For all we know it could be. The spells written in grimoires cannot be understood unless the reader's magical powers are strong enough. Perhaps it just looks like a children's book until you reach the level of Supreme Mugwump and Chief Warlock of Wizengamot or a master mason or the Mages' Guild Master or whatever.

and again an epic karaagetarou Remilia trollface. Never ceases to impress.