Yuuka: "If you boys leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are point items. You are the lowest form of life in Gensokyo. You are not even you-fucking-sei. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of frozen amphibian! Because I am lunatic modo, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am lunatic modo but I am fair. There is no random bullet pattern here. I do not look down on easy modo kindergarteners, pichuun-to-save-a-bombers, or the Wriggle-kicked. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-grazers who do not pack the danmaku to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you kedama understand that?!"
---
Yuuka: "Tonight, you pukes will sleep with your spellcards. You will give your spellcard a boy's name because this is the only hentai scene you side characters are going to get. Your days of ahegaoing with ol' Jirou Self-Insert through his white censoring steam are over! You're married to this card. This weapon of ink and paper. And you will be faithful. Port, hut!"
Yuuka: "PRAY!" Yousei: "This is my spellcard. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My spellcard is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my spellcard is useless. Without my spellcard, I am useless. I must fire my spellcard true. I must shoot straighter than the miko, who is trying to pichuun me. I must shoot her before she shoots me. I will. Before Yasaka I swear this creed: my spellcard and myself are defenders of my stage, we are the masters of the miko, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no miko, but peace. Amen."
Yuuka: "Bullshit! From now on, your name will be Private Snowball! Do you like that name?"
Cirno: "SIR, YES, SIR!"
Yuuka: "Well here's one thing you won't like, Private Snowball, they don't serve fried frogs and watermelons on a daily basis inside my Mess Hall!"
Cirno: "SIR, YES, SIR!"
Keo said:
"Is that you, Yukarin? Is this Mima?
Yuuka: "Who said that?! WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?! WHO'S THE SLIMY LITTLE LUNARIAN SHIT TWINKLE-TOED PUSSYSUCKER DOWN HERE WHO JUST SIGNED HER OWN DEATH WARRANT? Nobody, huh?! The Toyo-fucking-satomimi sent you! Out-fucking-standing! I will P.T. you all UNTIL YOU FUCKING DIE! I will P.T. you until your pussies are sucking buttermilk! Was it you, you scroungy little fuck, huh?!"
Alice: "SIR, NO, SIR!"
Yuuka: "You little piece of shit, you look like a fucking amanojaku. I bet it WAS you!"
Yuuka: "Well, no shit. Look what we have here, a magician, Private Mushroom. I admire your honesty, hell I like you, you can come over to my field and fuck it up."
Yuuka kicks Marisa in the groin.
Yuuka: "YOU LITTLE SCUMBAG! I GOT YOUR NAME! I GOT YOUR PUSSY! YOU WILL NOT LAUGH! YOU WILL NOT CRY! YOU WILL LEARN BY THE PATTERNS, I WILL TEACH YOU! NOW GET UP, GET ON YOUR FEET!"
Yuuka: "You had best unfuck yourself OR I WILL UNSCREW YOUR HEAD AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK!"
Marisa: "SIR! YES! SIR"
Yuuka :"Private Mushroom, why did you join my beloved Corps?!"
Marisa: "SIR! TO BEAT REIMU! SIR!"
Yuuka :"So you're a rival? Lemme see your spellcard!"
Marisa: "SIR?!"
Yuuka: "YOU GOT A SPELLCARD? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! THAT'S A SPELLCARD, NOW LEMME SEE YOUR SPELLCARD! "
Marisa: "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Yuuka: "BULLSHIT, YOU DIDN'T BOMB THE PATTERNS! NOW LEMME SEE YOUR REAL SPELLCARD!"
