I gave it a try. Let me know if this is too loose of a translation.
Maybe Yun's line on second panel is different but the rest is nice. For now, I think it's better to leave at check translation for a third opinion, thanks anyways for the help.
Since this is coming from a far more experienced translator than me, I think we have worked enough on this, the next people seeing it probably won't bother enough to change it again, I guess. Thank you guys, it's nice to see how I'm doing on my understanding of japanese.
Maybe Yun's line on second panel is different but the rest is nice. For now, I think it's better to leave at check translation for a third opinion, thanks anyways for the help.
Brightlight said:
I adjusted the translation. How about this?
The second panel indeed caused me some consternation. I tried to infer something that rhymed but it was quite a stretch. Furthermore, I couldn't figure out why Yun seemed to react negatively (?) to Lumine's statement. The Chinese version on the author's Pixiv didn't make things any clearer for me either. Is there some nuance that I'm missing? Was Yun hoping for a specific suggestion of what to sing? Was Lumine's statement rude in some way?
The second panel indeed caused me some consternation. I tried to infer something that rhymed but it was quite a stretch. Furthermore, I couldn't figure out why Yun seemed to react negatively (?) to Lumine's statement. The Chinese version on the author's Pixiv didn't make things any clearer for me either. Is there some nuance that I'm missing? Was Yun hoping for a specific suggestion of what to sing? Was Lumine's statement rude in some way?
Tbh I also don't get why she disliked Lumine's line, my guess is that Lumine tried to copy her speech style and failed but your guess about hating flattery seems to be the best until now. Actually, the rhymes are mainly on the first panel with Yun's lines ii tenki/keshiki and sore nara/desu ka?, which is reinforced by her posture, the rest of the chat is quite normal, my bad for not expressing myself clearly on the first comment. Aside from the line on the second panel, I think the meaning is mostly conveyed already, such that further changes are more a matter of refining rather than translating itself.
Actually, the rhymes are mainly on the first panel with Yun's lines ii tenki/keshiki and sore nara/desu ka?, which is reinforced by her posture, the rest of the chat is quite normal, my bad for not expressing myself clearly on the first comment.
Don't worry, coming up with rhymes was a bit of fun even if not strictly necessary. I was also inspired by the in-game opera which is fully rhymed.
Maybe @Brightlight or someone else has some additional insight as to the second panel?
The second panel indeed caused me some consternation. I tried to infer something that rhymed but it was quite a stretch. Furthermore, I couldn't figure out why Yun seemed to react negatively (?) to Lumine's statement. The Chinese version on the author's Pixiv didn't make things any clearer for me either. Is there some nuance that I'm missing? Was Yun hoping for a specific suggestion of what to sing? Was Lumine's statement rude in some way?
Yes, I think Yun wanted a specific suggestion. This is the kind of troublesome situation like you ask your family "What do you want for dinner?" and they answer "Anything is fine."
Yes, I think Yun wanted a specific suggestion. This is the kind of troublesome situation like you ask your family "What do you want for dinner?" and they answer "Anything is fine."
That makes a lot of sense, it fits her thinking expression in panel 2, and the ellipses at the start of panel 3 could imply she took a moment to come up with something to sing. Thanks!
The weather is nice and this place is most pretty~
Traveler, would you care for a little ditty?Traveler, what in the hell are you doing...I found the best seat for this opera's viewing.Ah! Of course my dear!What would you like to hear?Ah, well...Then... I'll sing this song. Please now be seated.Ehehe～ It matters not the tune,so long as it's sung by Yun.When I asked you that question, I'd hoped for a suggestion.Right away, Yun, you won't need to repeat it!
