キミ!!ひとりでヒルチャールの集落に近付くなんて危険すぎるぞ!-> Hey, you!! Approaching a hilichurl camp all by yourself is far too dangerous!
pretty straightforward translation because a fairly direct one sounds just fine in english. "Hey" was added in front of キミ because we don't really say just "you" in english to get someone's attention very often. ひとりで became 'all by yourself' and 危険すぎるぞ became 'far too dangerous' to fit with the appearance of なんて and the emphatic scolding tone
ご。。。ごめんなさい -> S-sorry...
not much to interpret here
気づくのが遅そう -> Her awareness seems lacking
Simple A が/は B です structure with the copula being implied. 気づく is the non-past plain form of 'to notice', the の at the end nominalizes it, が is a subject marker particle, 遅 is slow/late and the そう replacing the -い ending it would normally have just means that it seems/appears to be. 'awareness seems slow' is a little weird, we would usually clarify what person's awareness is being talked about, and 'slow/late' applied to 'awareness' seems a little weird in english, so i went with 'lacking' which conveys the exact overall idea just not word-for-word
以後、気をつけるように -> I hope you're more careful from here on out!
pretty straightforward, basically no liberties were taken beyond adding 'I' and 'you're' which are just implied in the original jp
Her awareness seems lackingI hope you're more careful from here on out!Hey, you!! Approaching a hilichurl camp by yourself is far too dangerous!S-sorry...