I tried my best to translate what she's saying but I don't think I have the brainpower or willpower to do so.
Also reading the page for the zoomer slang tag was the funniest shit I've read all day

I honestly feel bad for the guy.

Dysfunctional doesn't even begin to describe his life.

I like to think the artist is unaware of the fact that phones used to be attached to cords.

Steak said:

I like to think the artist is unaware of the fact that phones used to be attached to cords.

That phone has a little antenna, clearly it's a cordless phone modeled in the style/fashion of another older type.

NegativeSoul said:

I honestly feel bad for the guy.

Dysfunctional doesn't even begin to describe his life.

Ah, but maybe he's SO high-functioning that his life all balances out to 'functioning' in the end *taps forehead* Also, Brainrot-chan seems surprisingly all right with her bf's sister openly lusting after him