Never let it be said that being the spouse of one Yakumo Yukari was the simplest thing on the planet. As husband of quite possibly the most mischievous in the line of Gap Youkai (If there were any others left), it could have been considered careless or selective ignorance as I inadvertently began and delightfully followed-through on my relationship with my very, very, unorthodox wife. The first order of business after the sheets were dry and my suit was tucked away was our honeymoon. Yukari wanted to go to Australia; so here we were.

'YUKARI, GIVE THAT BACK!' came the very, very, painful-to-ear shrill of one Hakurei miko, one arm covering blossoming assets as she splashed through the water in order to retrieve the red top of her bikini.

I wondered why. It's Australia. Bare mammaries on the beach are as much an eyeful as fish and chips by the pier. This is, of course, one of the many things that I have to tolerate: a honeymoon where just the two of us constituted as accompaniment by my dear wife's friends. Of course, I didn't mind that much (At this point I had used the towel to prevent myself from getting Reimu's breasts or lack thereof into my field of vision and another one of her patented flying suplexes in return).

To either side of me, my daughters sat peacefully. Or rather, one was: Ran was busy chatting under her umbrella with some tan male with an afro (One of the locals, if his accent was anything to go by). Youkai traits in plain view, I'm pleasantly surprised by the fact none of the people here actually cared for the fact Chen and Ran had tails... or that Yukari was riding a gap in the middle of the ocean as she evaded Reimu, who herself was flying. Meanwhile, Yuuka and Mr Kazami himself were catching the rays of the sun with her in glasses and resting on his lap (I honestly cannot comprehend how in the world THAT romance happened) and our unofficial tour guide, Hatate was handling her own problems: namely a group of blonde, brown-eyed surfers whom she had apparently charmed since our arrival.

Then I felt a huge weight slamming into my gut and I look down to see a (rather cutely, I might add) tearful bride of mine clutching my waist as an enraged Hakurei shrine maiden stomped her feet in the sand some couple of deca-metres away. I softly pat her head.

'Reimu's mean.' she said in a muffled voice.

'I know, I know,' another rule when you're Yukari's spouse? Indulge her childish complaints; I found out the hard way that she threw a tantrum as fierce as the Margatroid girl (Strangely, though, Yukari was less prone to destruction than her), 'Ice cream?' I offered.

The outburst of laughter from Ran and her new friend made me blink quietly as I looked over to them for an instant; the boy was wearing a grin that'd probably last centuries. A soft headbutt to my belly: Yukari wanted attention again. Sometimes I wonder which one of us is the older (more mentally mature, natch) one. I pat her softly.

Yukari turns around and lies on my crossed legs, delightfully licking her pistachio while Chen pulled a book discussing the links between shifting geography and climate change. Her orbs of light purple looked into mine and I offered her a soft smile and bent over for a kiss. It didn't linger for more than three seconds... but the thought was there.

'This wasn't so bad an idea, after all.' I referred to our current entourage: Yukari giggled.

'Now, isn't it?' she brings one hand up to my cheek, gently caressing it.

I lean in for seconds... then my phone rang. Ugh. Yukari's furrowed brow conveys her thoughts while it reflects my own. I reach for the ringing cell phone in the beach bag... only to have Chen hand it to me herself (Was she sitting on it the whole time? I did not notice). I flicked open the device.

'KYON, JUST WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?'

Mr Kazami looks to me from a couple yards away with a small smile.

A psychic link opens.

We're in for it this time, aren't we, Itsuki?

He replies:

Yes. Yes we are.

It's funny how some of the most amazing writers diguise themselves among us here.

Byakushi said:
[snip]

I have no idea who downvoted this, 'cause it's awesome. That said: Don't you have a FF.net account or somewhere? It'd be nice to see all of these collected.

It is awesome, but perhaps this isn't the place for it. In other news, Byakushi, watch your verb tenses. You're mostly in past tense, but you keep shifting to present, which always wrecks the flow of the story for grammar-hounds like me.

Moonspeaker said:
It is awesome, but perhaps this isn't the place for it. In other news, Byakushi, watch your verb tenses. You're mostly in past tense, but you keep shifting to present, which always wrecks the flow of the story for grammar-hounds like me.

It's parallelism, right? But it's okay as long as he can still convey his good thoughts about the images.

Byakushi said:
I reach for the ringing cell phone in the beach bag... only to have Chen hand it to me herself

KYON-KUN DENWA.

Related post #940355

Yamisama said:
Related

Ya think? It's the parent post...

Byakushi said:

Never let it be said that being the spouse of one Yakumo Yukari was the simplest thing on the planet. [...]

That was amazing

EDIT by OOZ662: That whole wall doesn't need to be re-quoted.